Magical Fruit (practice)

Colorful and brilliant in all their dull complexities, beans have to be one of the most wonderful foods in the entire world. One of the "three sisters" (beans, corn, and squash) beans are a staple food for all of our worlds aboriginal and even some modern cultures. Trying to narrow down a favorite one strain is a difficult task, because through all there different colors, tastes, textures, flavors (yes flavor and taste are different), aromatic quality, smell, starch quantity, actual bean quality, and so on. I suppose given no other alternative, I could narrow them down to 4 favorites. Anasazi Beans, Turtle Beans, Chickpeas, and Cranberry Beans,. I will also do my best to characterize them for you.

Anasazi Beans also referred to as Aztec Beans and Jacobs Cattle Bean (though Jacobs Cattle is a mis-categorization, because there is an actual subspecies of kidney bean so named, while Anasazi Beans are a variant of modern Pinto Beans and as such not within the same family as Jacobs Cattle Beans) quite possibly have the coolest history, or rather story behind them. Though there are many stories of origin, they all pale in comparison to the magic clay pot story. It is said that the Anasazi Bean disappeared from the planet along with the people for whom they are named and were formerly unknown to the modern world. One day in somewhere in the 80s a member of an anthropology team from UCLA was in New Mexico looking for the remains of the famed Pygmy Elephant, and during his search just so happened upon a site where native peoples had inhabited thousands of years ago. Upon examining the site, the researcher found an old clay pot that has been sealed shut with pine tar, and contained a handful of these odd white beans with red speckles. The beans and pot were radio Carbon dated to over 1,500 years old, out of sheer curiosity he decided to plant them and to his amazement they grew into see bearing plants. Now from an analytical point of view there are holes all over this story, mainly New Mexico to the Anasazi and Aztec, and the 1,500 year old beans that grew when planted considering the effective shelf life of a bean is about 50 years and the longest recorded palatable bean was 100 years old. None the less, its a cool story and there are hundreds of variations of it, so that's the one I like to tell.

Size: Moderate to large

color: White with blotted red speckles

taste: Sweet

flavor: Hoppy

texture: Smooth (not creamy, not gritty)

smell: Nutty

aromatic quality: High

starch quantity: Moderate to low

actual bean quality: this is subjective to the specific beans in your possession, not to the varying types of beans.

Named for their color, Turtle Beans are reminiscent of the black shell of sea turtles floating in the water, originally a Caribbean specific food stock and due to their popularity and versatility have become staples around the world. Hands down, in my book, turtle beans win all the way when it comes to flavor, however cooking them as compared to other kinds of beans can be bothersome given their excessive protein coatings there is constantly a thick and goopy slag in the water than must be skimmed off.

Size: Moderate to small

color: Black

taste: Sweet

flavor: Mushroom

texture: Creamy

smell: Floral

aromatic quality: High

starch quantity: Moderate

actual bean quality: this is subjective to the specific beans in your possession, not to the varying types of beans.

Hummus, I LOVE with a capital LOVE hummus. Now hummus can be made from any bean and each different hummus, like the beans they are made from, have their own individual characteristics, though hummus as made from Chickpeas is my absolute favorite, and aside form hummus, I do not like Chickpeas.

Size: Moderate to small

color: Light Yellow/Off White to Very Light Brown

taste: Sweet

flavor: Nutty

texture: Grainy

smell: Nutty

aromatic quality: Low

starch quantity: Low

actual bean quality: this is subjective to the specific beans in your possession, not to the varying types of beans.

Like a creamy, full bodied, all around perfect version of a pinto; the Cranberry Bean is an awesome compliment to any salad, Italian dish, or just on its own; these beans are like velvet in your mouth. N'uf said.

Size: Large

color: White with blotted maroon speckles

taste: Sweet

flavor: Nutty

texture: Silky

smell: Floral

aromatic quality: High

starch quantity: High

actual bean quality: this is subjective to the specific beans in your possession, not to the varying types of beans.